Diary of a lost soul
by Jaded-Zenith
Summary: Her world shattered apart. But she's still bound to earth. Inspired by Evanescence's My Immortal. R&R plz!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N This is my first ever fan fiction on here so...yah. i've already writen about 4 chapters but i'll see if i want to put it up. I hope you enjoy this.**

**Summary: Her world shattered apart. But she's still bound to earth. Inspired by Evanescence's My Immortal. **

**Declaimer: Teen titans and their wonderful ideas will never belong to me...so sue if you want but i hope you like my piece of cake. 3**

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Chapter 1

March 27th

Broken, shattered, and torn in to pieces. I don't know else to describe my feelings at this moment. Funny thing, I can still hold a pencil and still write script. I have no idea if someone can or will read this later on. Still, just to pass time and see if I can make more sense of this once it's on paper, I will tell, or should I say write, what happened to me. The pain was beyond measure, both physically and mentally.

When I drove to the park to meet up with Gar, I knew there was something wrong. The way his voice shook when he called me that night scared the crap out of me. I parked my car and glanced around to see where he was. Then I saw him, leaning against the cherry tree by the rose garden. With his hair dyed green on the tips of his spiky blonde head. As I walked towards him he looked upwards and I could tell he was nervous and uneasy.

"Look Rae," Gar began with his usual nickname more me when I finally reached him. "I have a confession to make."

I toke a deep breath, hoping it wasn't all that bad. The seconds that passed felt like ages, Gar was shifting from one foot to the other. I wished he would just suck it up and tell me. Then, he spoke, and I wanted to take it all back.

"I'm going to be a father, Rae."

I felt my knees weaken as I stared into his emerald eyes.

"But…" I began, "I'm not…"

"I know, I'm sorry," Gar toke my hand.

_No you're not!_ I wanted to scream, but I couldn't bring myself to. "Who?" was all I could ask.

"T-Terra, she's the one."

_That traitor!_ I blinked, she knew, she knew about Gar and I.

Gar hugged me, kissed me lightly on the cheek and wished me well. How _dare _he say that, after what he just told me? Then he turned with his hands in his pocket and left.

I cried.

Not in the tantrum, babyish kind of break up way, mind you. But the way a person would if they had just watched and experienced a tragedy. A woman weeping for her dead children wouldn't have felt any worse. You see, I have suffered from depression during my childhood. My mom died when I was little and my dad was abusive.

I got in my car and was not surprised that tears till flowed down my face. It was a stupid thing to do, really: driving while crying, they should make that another law. When my eyes blurred once more, I looked down to search for a tissue or anything that might at least capture my tears because clearly nobody was going to.

I didn't look up in time to see the red light, and maybe I might have pushed on the gas pedal a little harder, when suddenly something slammed hard into my car's side. Then everything around me went black, I swear I was floating among the stars. Then, something jerked me back. A few seconds passed and I realized I couldn't move, and then my vision cleared. I studied my surroundings curiously; I was at my town's church. There were many people around, people that I knew! Even though I was considered a freak when I was young, I had made a few friends. And they were crowding around a rectangular box quite large. My friends were all wearing black, and guess who was there too?

_Gar_, he was standing with Kori, my best female friend, he was sobbing in her arms while she patted his back, murmuring words of what seemed to be comfort. Victor and Richard were there too. Suddenly, i realized that this was a funeral. And most importantly, mine.

I glanced at my reflection and was shocked to see a totally different person.

The woman was extremely pristine, she was pale white with beauty beyond this world. Her hair was violet which set off her pitch black eyes. "This can't be me." I breathed. Then i felt a pair of eyes set on me.

I turned around and found Gar staring at my direction. _Like he saw a ghost_. But then Kori cameover to him.

"Come on, Garfield." Kori pulled on his arm, "Richard says the funeral is starting!" and dragged him off.

Oh my naive friend, if Gar could see me, then why couldn't you?

At this moment, i believe that you are very confused, that you have many questions. But i'll tell you this, I think i'm still bound to earth. That i have something left to do, that i have to do, before i really pass. I'm sure i'm not a ghost cause i'm writing with a solid pen, but not really a spirit either... perhaps possibly a lost soul??

Anyways, thank you for listening

_Rachel Roth_

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_**A** /**N: R&R plz!!!**

**^.^**


	2. Chapter 2

_Lmao. I'm back with this ^^; You know, cause I had written like…four chapters in a notebook. But I've got like 10 notebooks scattered all over the house so I had no idea where I've been writing in. Luckily, I found it!_

_Yay! Lol._

_Okay…_

_Disclaimer: …..do I really need to do this. I, you, we do not own Teen titans. Only our lovely ideas._

_BTW: .com/watch?v=NUsWGNnqJ5U it's an awesome version of the real song by Eminem and Rihanna. Even though there's some not so awesome comments…_

_Now onward! Gar's diary/journal (rofl)_

March 27th

I did something terrible. I don't think I'd ever forgive myself. Rachel died today and it was all my fault. I should have never gone behind her back like that…I know I was tricked, I didn't want to tell her but I guess no one ever does. I know I had too, for both of our sakes. I just had no clue I would kill her like that.

I must be going crazy but when I went to her funeral, I could still feel her there. I had smelt the sweet lavender aroma she usually carried with her. Then, I swear I saw her.

But it wasn't really her, sorta. The woman I saw was pale white and dressed in a long flowing robe of black and royal blue. Her hair was so long and beautiful. And her eyes looked like endless pools of darkness.

I told myself I was imagining all this because when Kori came over to remind me that the ceremony was about to start, she didn't even notice the figure at all. I wish I knew what was going on.

I hope Rachel's spirit rests in peace, even though I know I'm not going too. She'll be much happier that way.

Garfield Logan

_Sri, it's not that long…_

_Om nom nom 3_

_There's a special invention right down there it's called the review button. Use it!_


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